This year, the K-pop gods have, for some reason, granted you the opportunity to give a Valentine’s Day gift to all the members of your Hallyu bias list. You are a bit puzzled by this boon — didn’t you infer that Minho can’t rap just last week? — but are nonetheless very happy, and decide to make the most of this chance by gifting your favourite idols with chocolate you made yourself. You slave away, hand-making chocolate for your bias list… and your efforts pay off. You have a taste of the confectionery, and it is divine: sweet and smooth and oh-so-chocolate-y. You revel in the delicious flavour, only realising too late your folly. You stop yourself, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve eaten pretty much all of the chocolate — only three pieces are left. Three pieces. You look at the measly amount sitting on the kitchen bench, then at your bias list. After hurriedly beseeching the K-pop gods to magically multiply your now-pitiful stash (which doesn’t work, by the way) you come to the realisation that, this year, you may have to be a bit more economical with your love.
And now, you are left with a difficult decision to make.
To which three of your biases will you give your chocolate (and heart)?
- At least one chocolate must be gifted to a non-idol.
- Only one chocolate per K-pop group; so only GD or TOP, you can’t have both.
- You can’t give a chocolate to a whole group (Super Junior would not be pleased, let me tell you.)
- You can’t keep any chocolates for yourself: you already ate most of them, stop being selfish.
- You can change who you want to give your chocolates to during the game, but you must adhere to the above conditions.
- Failure to adhere to the above conditions (and canon, see backstory above) will result in your chocolates being confiscated and replaced with convo heart candies (courtesy of Johnelle)
- And for the gentlemen: simply replace “Valentine’s” from above with “White.” Or you can keep it as Valentine’s Day; whatever, free love.
- Speaking of which, no gender restrictions either; give your candy to whomever you wish!
They aren’t my biases, but two of my chocolates go to Seung-ah and G.na. Being a noona in K-pop is a hard-knock life; you go girls for holding onto your dignity in the face of some pretty immature treatment on The Romantic & Idol. These are cherry-liquor filled chocolates, hope they help to take the edge off the hurt.
Third chocolate is an extra-dark chocolate and it goes to Bang Sung-joon for his ridiculously sexy smirk.
Ambika: Normally, if I’ve eaten that much of the chocolate, I might as well eat the rest of it (what no one ever knew about would hurt them). Especially with these rules on who to give them to.
First, one of the chocolates would go to B.A.P‘s Young-jae. He’s been my B.A.P bias from the start for his voice, and well, I think the “One Shot” music video is a good reference for how well the year since debut has gone for him. He’s lost some chub (hopefully in a healthy manner), and put on some muscle, so a little chocolate won’t hurt, especially with the round of promotions going his way.
Second is to Two-X‘s Eunyoung for The Romantic & Idol. That girl had some of the most entertaining interviews and is clearly a character if you get to know her. She was probably the most open on the show about her emotions–open as in to everyone, not just the camera crew–while still remaining likeable. The staff clearly enjoyed having her there as well.
Lastly, my non-idol chocolate goes to Lee Kwang-soo off of Running Man. It was hard to pick between him, Song Ji-hyo for always being badass, and Yoo Jae-suk for being Yoo Jae-suk, but ultimately, I think I get some of the most laughs from Lee Kwang-soo and his antics alone and with the other members. Not to mention I was impressed by him in this last episode. Talk about turnaround.
Johnelle: The first two candies are a no brainer for me, not that this would ever happen to me because I am not a chocolate person; I’m more of a gummy or hard candy type, but on with the game.
The first chocolate candy I would give to Yoo Jae-suk. He’s one of my fave people in K-pop and definitely deserving for bringing so much laughter to the masses on his show and for being an all around good guy also.
The second candy would go to Big Bang‘s Daesung because you can’t have Dumb without Dumber. He was also one of my favorite Korean entertainment personalities with his great variety skills and smooth as chocolate voice.
The third candy puts me in a quandry because there are so many of my favorites it could go to: my first K-pop crushes Kim Hyun-joong or Hwang Bo who I loved in We Got Married, the Nation’s Fairy Lee Hyori whose combination of fierceness and caring in Family Outing made her one of my favorite people without even kowing she used to be a idol, Jung Yonghwa whom I loved in You’re Beautiful and as a member of C.N. Blue, Jo Jung-suk whose awesome scene stealing performances in What’s Up and The King 2 Hearts made me an instant fan, or maybe even the delightful Eunyoung of Two X who I thought was super cute on Romantic & IdoI and deserves a candy for getting shafted on the show–well, maybe everyone excluding Ye-won and Min-hyuk deserves a candy after that show….
Argh, I can’t decide!
Nicholas: I would, to be honest, just eat the chocolate if there were only so many pieces left, and buy my three people gifts more in line with their character. Still, I will play by the rules.
First person would be SNSD‘s Yuri, to help give her some inspiration. For one, many of her recent career actions have been worrying to say the least (not being good in her new designated rapping role, her drama outing, and not interesting the Japanese when she’s in Japan). Plus her figure could probably accommodate that little bit of unhealthy food.
The next person would be Kim Nam-joo from A Pink. Girl does many things well and certainly should not always sit in the shadows of others. This chocolate would be to motivate her for any comeback happening this year.
The last person would be SM head Honcho Lee Soo-man. For his ability to give fans sleepless nights, and make people love him and hate him in equal measure. This chocolate would be for him to give me a call about any job offers, and together we can fine tune K-pop a little bit.
Gaya: Damn straight you save those three chocolates, Nicholas, because you spent all your money on buying ingredients to make them, and are now broke.
In honour of my beloved frog prince, I would make my own version of the Freddo frog, with my favourite strawberry filling. Bam! Double aphrodisiac whammy! And probably too much information!
And while Minho might not be too keen on ingesting something in the likeness of a member of his own species, I’m going to give him one anyway; after all the ribbing he has to endure from Seoulbeats (like in Amy’s latest masterpiece), giving him an imitation Freddo is the least I can do to let him know that someone here still loves him.
My second chocolate was going to go to Dong-woo, but I will continue my pity-fest by choosing EXO-M‘s Chen instead. Easily in the top two/three performers in EXO (his dancing is weak), he still wallows at the bottom of popularity lists; furthermore, he sported a TERRIBLE haircut at maknae Sehun’s high school graduation — that alone is reason enough for chocolate.
And we arrive at the third and final chocolate where, like Johnelle, I am also stuck in a quandary. Jung “The Scheduler” Il-woo is my first K-drama love and is also, from the looks of things, a great kisser (thank you tvN); but, To The Beautiful You and School 2013 have left me with a growing liking for Kim Woo-bin. He really charmed me in School 2013 with his surliness and ability to look handsome, even with all the dodgy make-up that drama had going on. Loyalty dictates that I choose Jung Il-woo (who is also a good kisser, don’t forget), but Kim Woo-bin… his face…
Anyone want to help out? Johnelle? If I told you to pick Hyori would you suggest who I should pick?
Johnelle: Gaya, I was leaning towards Hyori, so Hyori it is. The Nation’s Fairy gets my third chocolate for being her awesome self.
As for your last chocolate, Gaya, I’m recommending Kim Woo-bin. You gotta strike when the hottie is hot.
Gaya: But what if the hottie is forever hot? In any case, Kim Woo-bin it is!
Lindsay: Ok, after much deliberation, We Got Married ended up solving my big chocolate issue for me. I officially have a girl crush on Go Jun-hee. I also relate to her complex about size, being a tall girl with big feet myself. Not to mention her fashion sense really appeals to me. So I will give her one of my chocolates, dark with a rose flavored cream filling and a red Ross decoration on top.
My second chocolate I am going to deliver in secret in the dead of night. The note will say “from your secret admirer” and I am never going to admit to it, ever. The chocolate is for EXO’s Kai, it will be very dark chocolate with red chilies and cherries mixed in, spicy and tart and bitter. Now you all know my secret, so I’ll just have to kill you.
The third chocolate will go to BtoB‘s maknae, Sungjae. Why? Because that is how I am feeling right now. There are many idols I consider more of a bias for me than him, but something tells me his face would be super adorable when he received a home-made chocolate. Hopefully I could then convince him to sing me a song in exchange, since he has such a lovely voice. For him, the chocolate will be classic milk chocolate filled with caramel.
This may be the hardest thing I have ever done, seriously. I’ll be sure not to eat all the chocolates next year.
Kim: I don’t have a bias but I can think of three people I’d want to gift chocolates to.
For the ever-quirky Kong Hyo-jin, who entertains and inspires, I’d give her chocolate #1.
For the eccentric musician Jang Ki-ha, who really needs to release new material ASAP, I’d give him chocolate #2.
And with #3, I’d give it to Hyoyeon. I’m not a SONE but I think she deserves one.
Cynthia: So first chocolate automatically goes to my #1 bias, Super Junior‘s Donghae. He won my heart years ago with his dancing and his adorable personality, and he just seems like such a genuinely nice guy that I would feel guilty about not giving him anything. And since Donghae has shown his cheesy romantic side in older interviews and variety shows, I’m sure he’d appreciate the gift – just imagining the adorable look of surprise on his face when he receives home-made chocolate is enough to make me melt.
Second chocolate would either go to EXO-M’s Lay or Block B‘s U-Kwon because goodness knows they could use some loving – Lay because despite his talents he got completely overshadowed by Kai in SM The Performance‘s debut, and U-Kwon because Block B has just had a crappy year. After some thinking, I’ve decided to give the chocolate to U-Kwon. Why? Well, he says it best in Nanlina: “I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, but I’m hot, hot (so hot).” And honestly, for me, being that hot is enough to deserve a chocolate. If I’m feeling daring, I might drive the point home by throwing in a convo heart candy that says “Get at me”. Either way, I want U-Kwon to know just how much I appreciate how fine he is. Plus, something tells me I’d be way too embarrassed to give Lay a chocolate in person anyway, especially if it were in front of other EXO members.
And lastly, for the non-idol, as someone who doesn’t watch K-dramas and is just generally ignorant about the visual part of Korean media (tv, film, etc.), this part is hard. So, going along with Nicholas’s idea of giving a chocolate to SM’s head honcho Lee Soo-man, I would like to give a chocolate to SM’s composer Yoo Young-jin for creating all my favorite R&B ballads that are perfect for Valentine’s Day.
Jasper: Surprisingly, after a little bit of thought and inner turmoil, it was pretty easy to decide which idols I’d give my chocolates to. At first I was thinking of giving my first chocolate to my all time bias Lee Soon-kyu, otherwise known as SNSD’s Sunny. Her hair and styling has been unbelievable tragic as of late, and I thought a little bit of chocolate could comfort her some.
However, chocolate #1 would ultimately go to her group mate Seohyun, who’s been shining spectacularly lately. Ever since “Twinkle,” SNSD’s maknae has really made good use of her time in the spotlight. She doesn’t seem as robotic on stage anymore and is getting a bit bolder on variety, so sending this chocolate would be my way of telling her to continue being fabulous.
At first, I had a bit of trouble choosing between my two man crushes, Super Junior’s Sungmin and B1A4‘s Sanduel, when deciding the recipient of chocolate #2. However, Sandeul ended up victorious in the end. No offence to Sungmin, but B1A4 has been triggering all my fanboy feelings ever since their flawless “Tried to Walk,” and Sandeul’s solo in Immortal Song 2 only further sealed the deal.
The hardest choice was definitely choosing the non-idol to give chocolate too. Yoo Jae-suk — my favorite person in the entirety of the Korean entertainment scene — continues to be flawless a individual, Park Shin-hye and Yoon Si-yoon are being absolutely adorable in Flower Boy Next Door, and I could honestly give every Running Man member boatloads and boatloads of chocolate if I could.
However in the end, I’d give my last chocolate to Lee Kwang-soo. The beloved giraffe has been much more endearing rather than pathetic on the show lately, and after times of infinite struggle, he’s finally grown to be quite the force to be reckoned with. And without spoiling anything, Lee Kwang-soo was particularly epic in the program’s most recent episode (featuring Hwang Jung-min, Park Sung-woong, and Hyuna), so chocolate #3 could be considered my congratulations.
Dana: What Jasper said re. Sunny’s styling. “Tragic” is really the only appropriate word to use here.
In a move that will surprise absolutely no one, my first chocolate will go to SNSD’s Fany Fany Tiffany, who is my #1 bias of all time and secret BFFL. Natch, she will reciprocate with a pint of Ben & Jerry‘s banana peanut butter swirl Greek fro-yo, which she knows is my favorite because, like I said, we’re BFFLs.
The second chocolate’s a bit tricky; I ordinarily would give it to Taeyang, but his unforgivable styling as of late leads me to rethink that one. Since I haven’t replaced him in my bias box yet with a male whose abs could give him a run for his money (totes open to suggestions, by the way), I’m going to be kind and give it to 8eight‘s Lee-hyun, who could probably really use it given that he’s in the army and not making a big fat stink of how hard it is/abusing his celebrity privilege and tainting the name of entertainment soldiers everywhere.
Final chocolate goes to a non-idol, so that would be…Gong Yoo. Do I even have to explain myself? To borrow a line from Crazy Stupid Love, he is the perfect combination of sexy and cute. And his performance in The Crucible left me with a hanging jaw.
Nabeela: Oh my goodness!!!
My first chocolate goes to 2PM‘s Jun.K, aka, my ultimate bias lover, aka my life. There is not a day that goes by that I’m not totally head over heels with his utter perfection. And I know he’d be the #1 perfect Valentine because is such a sweetie under all that fashionista swag. He’d know exactly what to gift AND he’d compose and write a song just for me.
My second chocolate–oof, this is hard–but it has to go Bang Yong-guk. I just. love. BYG. Everything about him is also perfection–his smile, his voice, his screams, his creativity–but he needs the chocolate not only because I love him but also because he needs to gain weight if he ever wants to surpass Jun.K in my heart. And I just know BYG would rap about how much he loves me on White Day, so how could I not give him a chocolate??
Uh, this last one is really hard. But if it were anyone, I’d have to give my third chocolate to Beyonce. Yes, Beyonce. Because she is not an idol, she is a queen, and all others are just peasants. Yes, peasants. This needs no further explanation.
(Images via: show me how to, Cube Entertainment, J. Tune Camp, BSX, Sidus HQ, SM Entertainment, Stardom Entertainment, SBS, Fluxus Music, Beyonce)