To all K-pop entertainment companies,
As a K-pop fan of three years, although I really enjoy your music at times, there were occasions when some of the things you do really expose you to ridicule from others. It also does not help your international push when those who laugh the hardest at you, are the very groups you want to impress.
So let’s make a deal. In return for a stable income, a decent apartment in Seoul and a company car, I would joyfully pay for a one way ticket to join you and help polish up K-pop that little bit.
It’s pretty much a win-win situation for the both of us. I get a decent job doing what I enjoy, and there would be less to mock in K-pop, which would only mean good things for its street credibility.
Below are some of the jobs I would gladly do:
It’s an open secret around here that we laugh a fair amount at some of what passes as acceptable English sentences in K-pop land. Examples abound here
– She give me so much pain
– Baby I’m sorry, we got the better
– Cry cry, can’t you see the music
– So beautiful my girl in the cube
And of course “Joom Joom heart like a rocket.”
As well as all the awkward innuendo-packed names companies coin such as WonderBang and TeenzonTop. And who could forget the embarrassment which was B.A.P’s “raper”?!
If I as a K-pop fan could, I would gladly comb through the lyrics as copywriters of sorts, to help modify the lyrics for songs to make them less cringe worthy. The BTOB one could have been saved by changing the “give” to “gave,” and the T-ara one, from “see” to hear.” I however cannot fix the B1A4 one, so “suggestions” would be welcome.
And while we’re at it, we could also help fix how your artistes pronounce the English lyrics in your songs. The latest offender has got to be SISTAR’s “Alone.” Hyorin, girl, I think what you wanted your lover to do was comfort you (Please dry my eyes), but strangely when I hear it, it’s as if you wanted him to poke your eyes out (Destroy my eyes).
The tweet advisor:
In this wired generation, celebrities being able to connect on the micro blogging service is just as important as being seen at the right clothing at the right places.
However, most K-pop stars these days seem to use twitter in the most odd way possible. From it being a place to just post another random selca (Suzy), stating a random tweet of something mundane they did, with giggles (T-ara’s Eunjung) or at times just making statements that are easily misconstrued by fans (Siwon’s tweet that Super Junior worked the hardest in 2011).
While we are not exactly expecting profound musings or intelligent discussion on the Korean political scene (although Heechul came quite close to doing the former), it would be nice if at times some things were left unsaid.
Fans who understand K-pop as well as how the most prolific people tweet would do quite well to proffer lessons to K-Pop Stars on things worth talking about (new albums, potential projects, your special friends) and some less so (unnecessarily inflammatory posts, your sixth cup of coffee for the day, a shot of the red sky)
While this might sound a bit like self-censoring, it’s worth noting that there have been many celebrities that have been able to show their personalities, while not coming off as awkward or ignorant on Twitter, and K-Pop could draw some lessons from that.
The “maybe it’s not so clever after all” committee:
While I do applaud some of the bold ideas that come out of K-pop, there have been times where the things done have sent my head scratching. Sending seven girls to a continent where they do not speak the language, and without any form of preparation, resulting in a mugging? Dropping weird teaser pictures in the name of shock value and stirring up complaints from fans? (looking at you, SM)
While I do get the news-worthiness of such activities, the most seasoned (or could I say jaded) K-popper would eventually cease to be amused by such activities. Besides, what price success? I would guess that some of these “ideas” probably caused unnecessary fretting for fans, as well as for the stars who had to get those ugly concept pictures done.
If I were hired, I would not mind being on a committee to sit in on discussions on new concepts, and try my absolute best to veto some of the iffier ideas. While I accept that some weird ideas could work in the real world, at least with this committee, K-pop land would see less of mock Native Americans, girl group dance moves centring around the butt and that pompous, overly done debut known as EXO’s.
The Music Video scene checker
I know this might not be as adventurous after the previous “jobs”, but this definitely is worth doing. Ever watched a music video and noted that odd lack of continuity in the scenes, or that the props just don’t fit in? I can understand the need to shoot a music video over many days, but at least make the details fit in nicely. Such lack of attention of detail just comes across as sloppy, considering all the money spent on training artistes, the costumes and the sets.
With me sitting around the sets, I would help note props and objects used in the Music Videos, and ensure they at least fit in nicely from scene to scene, or at least look appropriate for the time contexts the music video is set in.
While I cannot vouch for removing every mistake, at least minor embarrassments such as:
– Seo In-guk pointing a TV remote at an Apple monitor in “Shake It Up”
– IU wearing odd coloured socks in “Good Day”
– That ambiguously worded signboard in 2NE1’s “Lonely”
While these may have just been some of the suggested jobs, I am certain fans might have seen other things you would never have allowed off the planning stage, or would have fixed pronto. Leave your suggestions below!