• http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

    I’m a fifteen year old girl and I can honestly say that I have never felt jealous beyond belief of my bias (read: ultimate bias) interacting with a woman. Then again, Changmin is my bias more because I draw parallels between our personalities and I’m inspired by the way he reacts and thinks of situations maturely. So while he’s my bias, he’s first and foremost a role model of mine. It’s hard for me to find people I can connect with and in Changmin I just see the type of adult I should aspire to become.

    Of course, it helps that he’s hot. ;) I am still attracted to him. But I feel that I think about my bias in a different way from most people. Honestly, I hope he’s dating someone. I would not want him to be a miserable old man pining after love and affection. Like I said, he’s the kind of person I sort of want to become, or be like, when I’m older, and I hope that doesn’t mean a eternal single. XD

    However, I can still see where this is coming from. I never feel super jealous of women interacting with my ultimate bias, for the reasons I listed above, but for other idols that I really like for more superficial reasons…well, I can’t claim that I’m as understanding. I mean, I still totally get that they have their own lives and I’m respectful of that, because I just find it ridiculous that some fans have boyfriends but get mad at their bias’ interactions with the opposite gender. 

    However, I do find that I’m more juvenile at the thought of B1A4′s Jinyoung being around girls. Ironic, right? I feel more protective for some reason. Maybe because he’s not as far into his career as Changmin, so he feels younger to me. I can’t come up with a legitimate reason. I’m just saying that I can still connect.

    But still, in my experience, I’ve never been seriously upset because of my biases interacting with other women. I think it’s partially because I’m an extremely realistic and logical person; if I don’t have a logical explanation for my emotions, I just think there’s no point in them. Is there a logical reason for me to be upset if a person I’ve never met, no matter how much I like them, interacts with a girl? No. None whatsoever. It’s simply illogical. I can admire idols all I want for their music, looks, variety skills, and talents, but I think that’s where the line should be drawn. 

    I’m not really saying anything you didn’t say, Nabeela. :P  But your article made me think, so thank you. ^_^

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

      Changmin did admit he dated and that’s after he debuted. He’s too private.

      • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

        I know. I’m actually fairly certain he’s in a relationship now. Or was in one recently. He’s been really happy lately. :)

      • Haibara Christie

        I would like to keep him that way.

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

          I do like it that he’s that way too,he’s always been like that and his fans let him be.Its actually very endearing.He’s very sensible an quite mature for a maknae that I find it adorable for an idol.

          • Haibara Christie

            That’s why he’s my favorite member! He’s smart, witty, hardworking, crafty, and extremely mature. I’ve never respected an idol more.

          • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

            yeah he’s cool.I love TVXQ.

    • MEalways

      Wow, you’re only fifteen, that makes me feel like a dinosaur.. :)
      I salute you for the way you think, you go, girl!
      I also couldn’t idolize any singers/actors, put aside their profession, they’re human like us. The most inspiring person always the one who put their all to what they do and always bouncing back no matter how hard life gives them obstacle. 

      I respect Changmin and Yunho for that quality. When people less expected them to stand up again and like now, when they are being compared to their juniors (yes, I hate MAMA) in popularity – actually, it breaks my heart – and some people still drag on THAT drama, they just continue to stand tall and move on. 

      And I do hope that they both have girlfriends, and if they’re not (hey, being single and happy is always a choice we can also have) I sincerely hope they’re surrounded by people who really love and care for them.

      Idol is mine, only when they’ re on stage/film/drama. I cherish the song/dance they sing/do, I laugh at their dorkiness, I enjoy their variety shows, I cry with them at their roles, but when the lights off – each to their own, to their family, home and friends.
      Just like us.

      I wish more people can be more like you and many realistic/logical persons out there.
      A little bit easier for all of us :) (and maybe I just dreaming…)

      • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

        “Idol is mine, only when they’ re on stage/film/drama. I cherish the song/dance they sing/do, I laugh at their dorkiness, I enjoy their variety shows, I cry with them at their roles, but when the lights off – each to their own, to their family, home and friends.”

        This so much. :)

    • Haibara Christie

      Usually I feel young in the Kdrama world, but now you make me feel old! Haha. But I totally agree with everyone here. It’s okay to feel a bit jealous that you can’t be with your bias, but there’s a difference between having a green little monster in your head and actually acting upon it.  Changmin is one of my favorite idols because he’s extremely down to earth, and knows when to draw the line when it comes to fans.  If we stick with the DBSK fandom in particular (and one you’re very familiar with) it’s easy to se which members spur the fantasy for fans and who doesn’t.  Changmin is definitely the realist.  He’s honest with his fans in that he dated, and expressing that being an idol does not prevent him from being human. He knows that he’s not perfect nor does he ever expect to be.  He knows when to answer “It’s none of your business,” and tell his fans to go be students and “go do your homework.” Idols like Jaejoong, on the other hand, only add fuel to the fire of female fantasies.  

      • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

        That’s an interesting thought I never had! The fact that the idol’s personality kind of determines the type of fan they might attract is fascinating and makes a lot of sense. :)

        • Haibara Christie

          Michaela, over the years (trust me, they are not many) I’ve learned that Kpop has the ultimate propaganda machine.  Idols and their management are quite crafty–they know exactly how to toy with teenage (or even adult) emotions and gain a profit from it.  I cannot pass judgment upon it, but It’s why I’m so fascinated by it.

  • minty_chip

    Hm I only get jealous when I see girls interacting with Infinite but it’s probably because they’re close to my age and I’m a fan of their personalities and music. It feels like you can bump into them on the street ,meanwhile; with Big Bang most likely not. haha I love both groups but there’s something more relatable with Infinite.

  • minty_chip

    Hm I only get jealous when I see girls interacting with Infinite but it’s probably because they’re close to my age and I’m a fan of their personalities and music. It feels like you can bump into them on the street ,meanwhile; with Big Bang most likely not. haha I love both groups but there’s something more relatable with Infinite.

  • takasar1

    how many articles is this on the same subject? i would like it if material was not constantly regurgitated thank you!!!

  • http://dvqd92.tumblr.com/ Elizabeth

    i don’t really own celebrities and it’s their life like we all have our own life and i don’t think they should be forced to stay single forever. I guess I would be a little bit disappointed when an idol is dating for a like a minute but overall is happy for the person and couple. Both idols and entertainment companies, their song/choreography/music is singing, prancing, selling sex and performing about their “special girl/boy” which we get seduced to into thinking that oppa/unnie is mine seeing as how their are in a teen pop music industry and the nature of it and in mainstream k-pop with the entertainment company giving idols the dating ban even if the company let the idols date just secretly not telling the public. Great and nice article Nabeela :)

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

    I thought this is about Yunho.I hope that rumor is really untrue,I want him for Boa.lol.

    • Haibara Christie

      I feel like Yunho should be get married to a non-idol rather than to BoA, or Go Ara, or whomever. For some reason, I think he would be happier that way, since he’s a very private man like Changmin.

      • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

        Yeah maybe he can be happier but I dont know I just like him with Boa,Its the fangirl in me.

        • Haibara Christie

          Of course :)

  • ANANAS

    For me I don’t get jealous or envious, but I do think that I will judge the person involved, which I shouldn’t do because I know neither. I look at the personalities I observed and judge whether I think they go well together or not. For example, I’m all for Se7en and his girlfriend and Yoo Ah In and her BF. Also Tablo, his wife and cute daughter. At the moment there
    really isn’t any one I’m against because I don’t care. I feel that I want the “best” or the people that I like, but how would I know when I don’t know either. More than jealous I think I will feel disappointed if the couple isn’t what I expected. For example, I’m all for Jiyong and Kiko. If one day I find out Jiyong started dating or has been in a long term relationship with her I would rejoice, but if it was some other girl I don’t quite “approve” of I’ll probably be more judgmental. In the end though, what would make me happy is to hear that the Kpop stars I listen to are getting married and maybe one day see pictures of their kids.  Especially
    my bias T.O.P. I really want to know what type of girl he will end up with.

    • Skittles

      ^YES. Basically my feelings about idol-dating.

      also do you mean Yoo Ah In (the actor) and his GF or Yoo In Na and her BF? lolol their names are so similar! XD

    • Skittles

      ^YES. Basically my feelings about idol-dating.

      also do you mean Yoo Ah In (the actor) and his GF or Yoo In Na and her BF? lolol their names are so similar! XD

      • ANANAS

        lol yes I meant Yoo in Na and her BF but I’m for the other couple too. LOL my bad. *rushes to edit* Oh and coincidentally I just read about Sun getting married wow. Congratulations to her!!

        • Skittles

          lol no worries~ ^^

          I did see that! And her letter to her fans and I was like “omg this is so sweet!” 
          Major congrats and props to her! 

  • Laverne D’SIlva

    I think part of the reason why fans think they have possession over idols is because “wanting” idols is seen as better than “wanting” someone real. By this I mean most teens in Korea are discouraged from the type of dating culture we have in the US and as a result it’s easier to focus on an idol rather than a friend in your class. So people grow up believing that idols are there just for them and the idols belong only to them. And this mentality goes overboard with some (sasaeng fans).
    To an extent, you had that with boy bands back in the 90′s and with One Direction fans now. However, that type of behavior is generally unaccepted here whereas entertainment companies in Korea are so hesitant to upset their fans that they unintentionally encourage it.

  • b55555b

    i click on articles automatically when the main picture consists of dbsk and i already know it’s not going to be about them 90% of the time. damn you seoulbeats lol

    • Nabeela

      gotcha 

    • Haibara Christie

      I love how they put pictures of DBSK in every place possible–even when it’s unrelated. 

  • Streby

    I love my idols but I actually want them to kind of be happy and all, if Minho declared that he was going to get married tomorrow, I would actually wish him well because though I call him ‘husband’ and all, I understand that the image I’m in love with is probably different from who he is as a person, and I think everybody deserves a little bit of privacy and love in their lives. 

  • http://twitter.com/catEYEx3 Clairi

    I can’t wait for the article on Sunye from Wonder Girls getting married in January, if there is one. As a Wonderful even though I know this could be the end of the group I’m happy for her, but some people are going crazy! JYP says she’s not leaving the group but I know there’s going to be a long hiatus. It’s one thing for idols to date, but way bigger to get married. . .I never get upset when one of my faves get in relationships. I think they all deserve to be happy!

  • http://twitter.com/catEYEx3 Clairi

    I can’t wait for the article on Sunye from Wonder Girls getting married in January, if there is one. As a Wonderful even though I know this could be the end of the group I’m happy for her, but some people are going crazy! JYP says she’s not leaving the group but I know there’s going to be a long hiatus. It’s one thing for idols to date, but way bigger to get married. . .I never get upset when one of my faves get in relationships. I think they all deserve to be happy!

  • http://twitter.com/catEYEx3 Clairi

    I can’t wait for the article on Sunye from Wonder Girls getting married in January, if there is one. As a Wonderful even though I know this could be the end of the group I’m happy for her, but some people are going crazy! JYP says she’s not leaving the group but I know there’s going to be a long hiatus. It’s one thing for idols to date, but way bigger to get married. . .I never get upset when one of my faves get in relationships. I think they all deserve to be happy!

  • http://twitter.com/catEYEx3 Clairi

    I can’t wait for the article on Sunye from Wonder Girls getting married in January, if there is one. As a Wonderful even though I know this could be the end of the group I’m happy for her, but some people are going crazy! JYP says she’s not leaving the group but I know there’s going to be a long hiatus. It’s one thing for idols to date, but way bigger to get married. . .I never get upset when one of my faves get in relationships. I think they all deserve to be happy!

  • MEalways

    Whoa, Sun_Leader’s getting married in January 2013, and the agency approved!
    BEST NEWS ever!

    1. I hope this is the new start where people will realize and let their idols have bf/gf and getting married is also an open option for them. When I join K-entertainment, I was really surprise to learn that most of the idols/actress married late in their 30s, even for male idols/actor it is common to married in late 30s/early 40s. Married in their 25/27 seems like a sin.. or married by accident… or just leave the industry already.

    2. And other agency will join in give more freedom in relationship for their idol/artist. I always believe that with freedom come more responsibility (yes, I take that from uncle Ben). You can always have your freedom/choice as long as you take the responsibility that comes with it. Since most of idols are young/in their teens or early 20s (and they get younger every year), I understand the agency policy to ban dating. But, once they had establish maybe 3-4 years, I wish that they also have the chance to learn how to have a good & healthy relationship. For ‘normal’ people like us, it already difficult to have one, let alone being an idol/artist.

    Best wishes to you, Sun.
    And thank to JYP to let them married soon. WG needs all those loving/understanding supports.
    And sorry for the long writing… I need to let it out of my chest :)

    PS: actually I also sad, to tell you the truth. Because WG is one of the girl-groups I like the most. I almost can’t imagine WG without Sun’s warm, caring, good leadership. But, above all, I respect her decision and be happy for her.

    • Haibara Christie

      That is really exciting! I’m really happy that someone in Idoldom is getting married, and is able to maintain their Idol career. This is great precedent for the rest of Kpop’s Idols. (… I’m looking at you, Super Junior. You are way too old now.)

      • KalisaCat

        What’s about Shinhwa?! Super Junior has average age around 26. I think they still have time to top Kpop wave. At least, as an ELF I wish so.
        But definitely, Leeteuk should marry XDD He is too old XDD I’m kidding kkk
        I will be happy to see guys with kids (especially, Donghae) and I will be their fan no matter what they choose: to leave scene or to stay.

  • hapacalgirl

    Or they can just be like Sunye and drop the bomb that they are getting married (I am so happy for her by the ways) and in ~ 2 months no less.  I just got done reading about her impending marriage when I came across this article.  Can’t wait to see Seoulbeats’ take on an  idol getting married while still a member of an active and well loved girl group and what the marriage could mean to the future of the Wonder Girls as a whole. 

    On a side note, I am ecstatic that JYPE and the rest of the Wonder Girls are so supportive of her decision to marry.

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

      My guess is she’s pregnant so they really have to marry.

      • hapacalgirl

        Sunye is deeply religious as is her soon to be husband so I don’t think she is pregnant.  Also JYP already addressed the pregnancy rumor and said it isn’t true. Considering how Sunye’s family situation is (both her parents have passed away already leaving her grandmother as her only living relative) it should come as no surprise that she is marrying young as she wants her grandmother to be there when she gets married and when she eventually starts a family.  She has been together with her fiance for almost two years now and no one knows when they actually got engaged.  They may have been engaged for awhile now and only decided to release the news after JYP/SunYe/ and the Wonder Girls had thoroughly discussed what her marriage may mean to the future of the group.

        For you to think that sunye is pregnant just shows how little you know about the singer. 

        • http://profile.yahoo.com/R5BKARJWK7NNOXYOIUSP76YJW4 Aj

          Yeah  I’m not really a Wonder Girl fan if that’s what you mean but I dont hate her, it’s just a silly guess.Yes of course I dont know her.Who knows who she really is in real life anyway.

        • B2uty5678

          Oh please lol we all know you’re wrong. She is pregnant

  • muggle87

    tbh, i never gotten jealous over my bias being with a girl. it doesn’t bother me if they date or not. i always been like that since i was a kid.

  • Dana_SB

    Nabeela, if you were an idol, I’d ship you with me *wink wink nudge nudge*

  • VLF218

    Pretty much yea.  Of course I’ll get jealous when some of my biases get girlfriends but I won’t be able to have them (Never say never though lol) so when they find someone they like I always have to reel myself back in and remind myself that they’re humans too. 

  • http://twitter.com/sebsobandsky Sabah

    There is this contemporary school of thought in art which explains that, ‘when we appreciate art we are in fact trying to understand the artist.’  Whether it is a painter, a writer, a dancer or singer, we seek to decipher their every brush stroke, word, act or note because at our core we are very lonely.  Even though we might live full lives, socialize, marry and have children, the vast majority of us might never meet our soulmate.  A person that we connect to upon an intimate level.  It may not be a human need but it is a very strong desire that affects us deeply so that no matter where we are in our lives, we still seek that companion. Sometimes even in the fictional world. We convince ourselves that this person ‘might’ be our soulmate because it just makes us feel better, less alone in an increasingly cold and harsh
    world. 

    A large part of the entertainment business, including Kpop, seek to gain entrance to our pockets not just through lust but via this loneliness.  Beauty alone might attract us for a while but if we connect to a person, a personality or in truth a persona, their hold upon us is much stronger.  Their allure lies in the possibility from the enigma that they are perceived to be coupled with eligibility.  Dating (or marriage) is the death of that dream because we lose our right to know them upon that level.  They have become someone else’s mystery to discover and riddle to solve. 

    Is it fair to ask ‘Oppa’ to choose between love or success? Though it isn’t wrong to enjoy the success earned by the method, ultimately there is a price to be paid.  A lot of idols do prepare for ‘retirement’ by seeking success through their art rather than ‘an image of the artist.’  As for the bleeding hearts I would say that don’t give up on searching for your soulmate, not even from the world of Kpop but understand that truly you never really knew them at all.  The hope that they were your soulmate has died and NOT your actual soulmate.

  • http://twitter.com/sebsobandsky Sabah

    There is this contemporary school of thought in art which explains that, ‘when we appreciate art we are in fact trying to understand the artist.’  Whether it is a painter, a writer, a dancer or singer, we seek to decipher their every brush stroke, word, act or note because at our core we are very lonely.  Even though we might lead full lives, socialize and marry the vast majority of us might never meet our soulmate.  A person that we connect to upon an intimate level.  It may not be a human need but it is a very strong desire that affects us deeply so that no matter where we are in our lives, we still seek that companion. Sometimes even in the fictional world. We convince ourselves that this person ‘might’ be our soulmate because it just makes us feel better, less alone in an increasingly cold and harsh world. 

    A large part of the entertainment business, including Kpop, seek to gain entrance to our pockets not just through lust but via this loneliness.  Beauty alone might attract us for a while but if we connect to a person, a personality or in truth a persona, their hold upon us is much stronger.  Their allure lies in the possibility from the enigma that they are perceived to be coupled with eligibility.  Dating (or marriage) is the death of that dream because we lose our right to know them upon that level.  They have become someone else’s mystery to discover and riddle to solve. 

    Is it fair to ask ‘Oppa’ to choose between love or success? Though it isn’t wrong to enjoy the success earned by this method, ultimately there is a price to be paid.  A lot of idols do prepare for ‘retirement’ by seeking success through their art rather than ‘an image of the artist.’  As for the bleeding hearts I would say that don’t give up on searching for your soulmate, not even from the world of Kpop but understand that truly you never really knew them at all.  The hope that they were your soulmate has died and NOT your actual soulmate.

    • Moniisek

      Good comment!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Nate-Broadus/100003245734823 Nate Broadus

    What Sabah wrote pretty much sums it up. Things like “soul mates” and “true love” very much exist — but the harsh, gut-wrenching truth is that the majority won’t ever be lucky enough to find them, either out of impatience to wait, or a hundredfold reasons of life circumstance. The saying “that’s life” is a blanket statement that covers all the missing holes we have as people. Most holes can be filled, but never say human beings are not masters when it comes to skimming over a hole rather than actively trying, emotionally and mentally, to find what fits properly. Either that or a normal person will just take whatever square peg is at hand and valiantly attempt to force it into the empty space with a hammer. As for Kpop, I agree it has very little to do with actually finding a soul mate. Actually, it is a great big f’ing square peg meant to fill one of those lonely empty crevasses in our lives (for some — God knows there are those who still see it as just music and do not take it to extremes). The objects at the center of this maelstrom are the ideal, the archetype, that elusive hero/heroine that looks hot/pretty/cute, with a personality to match and — OMG, they like the SAME THINGS that I do! Fighting! Jjang! ^_^;

    Entertainment companies would be fools not to play into this phenomenon. At the end of the day, it is still about making money. Bottom line, it is about bleeding the consumer. You have to find some way to catnip up your product in a way that your consumers almost NEED your product, not just want it. Idols help to provide this link between loneliness and fulfillment in the lives of some. However, in order for this to work, the idols have to stay flawless; they can’t date like normal people, or somehow they lose their attainability to the lonely consumer; they can’t royally screw up like ordinary people, or the facade gains an ugly crack on its face. Plus, Lord be with them if they ever look like utter crap (like we all do, from time to time, let’s just be frank here). 

    This is not something new, as anyone who follows pop music knows well. This carefully crafted and manipulated mindset goes back to the very foundations of idol based music.  Idols as a term and institution go all the way back to the 50′s with Ricky Nelson, James Dean, and even Marlon Brando before he let himself go (just go watch A Streetcar Named Desire and you’ll see). Even then, there were rules that had to be followed in order to maintain the perfect clay bust. Simply put, you cannot be too normal or else you completely destroy someone’s daydream. 

    The good news is, people grow up and get over things like idol worship. In fact, go speak to your mothers — they will all own up to an embarrassing idol crush or two, or three (or sometimes ten, you saucy older ladies, you). As much as I loathe the act of idol worship, it has its place in our evolution. Rarely does it ever take permanent hold, either.

    The true “victims”, such as they are, always turn out to be the idols, themselves. People aren’t born to live out their awkward evolution under a microscope. Idols have no choice but to do it this way. Now before anyone gets the impression that I am feeling sorry for the idols over this manner of idol worship they have thrust upon them, let it be known that: I-DO-NOT. There are no true victims. You traded privacy for fame. It is a steep price, yes, but it comes with the job description. You want to be on billboards, on big screens feeding into movie theaters, on album covers and in concerts, etc; All that gives you is the ability to be embedded in the popular conscious, it DOES NOT mean you get to dictate how that popular conscious dissects and segments you. When you add up all the variables, one great conclusion comes screaming to the surface: the (idol) system is flawed.

    Don’t get me wrong, about 5 years ago the evil businessman I purged inside me would be clapping for what the entertainment companies have done. This is some cleverly manufactured sh*t. McDonald’s would be jealous of this blueprint. However, what this blueprint does it does at the pretty ruthless expense of the figures that keep its inner workings running: the idols.

    Think about this exteriorly for a moment. How would you feel if you couldn’t tell anyone and everyone (if you so chose) how much you cared for someone? I know whenever I was in a relationship with someone I f’ing adored, I wanted to share that with some people. What if you couldn’t get visibly pissed and annoyed, then go back and apologize for being a jerk at a later time? You wouldn’t get your heartwarming “make up” moment, where you and your friend/significant other realize you have your own flaws and, “Aw, let’s hug it out, bitch.” Besides, people are supposed to blow their stack on occasion. It’s a healthy part of our day-to-day routine. What this blueprint that goes back decades does is stunt the growth of the average idol. It’s no wonder they often grow up to be human train wrecks that fill up the tabloids with all manner of outrageous stuff. They’re explosively acting out the angst that got bottled up by the machine for so many years.

    Fame and fortune in Kpop come at a heavy price. You are known and artificially loved by millions, but you trade away your basic human right to (publicly) be prigs, asshats, bitches, snobs, interested in people of the opposite (or same) sex, or all of the above for short bursts. We’ve all acted like jerks, then went back and apologized when we realized it. We’ve all been shameless about our relationships, flaunting them for the world like big diamond-tipped pimp canes. It is healthy to do so. Kpop idols, however, never get this luxury. Whatever they do that means something to them as people, that doesn’t fit into the idol facade, has to be done in the shadows like some dirty little secret. THAT is not healthy.

    The only way a system built on an illusion changes is if the people who are the recipients of the illusion change their expectations and perceptions. Follow these singers, models and actors/actresses for their work. Love the work. Love the expression, but for f*ck’s sake kill this notion you have about owning any part of the person. Idol fangirling and fanboying is fine as long as you don’t personally get the unrealistic notion that somehow they are meant to be your own. Idols are just entertainers, not ducats that are to be possessed.

    • http://twitter.com/sebsobandsky Sabah

      “Either that or a normal person will just take whatever square peg is at hand and valiantly attempt to force it into the empty space with a hammer” Hehe, my favourite line! (And not just because it fits me perfectly.)

      I like the parallels you drew with 1950′s Hollywood. Very apt.  They well knew that mystery and eligibility were the two fundamental traits that an idol should have.  ‘Too much information’ and then reality would break the illusion. However it does make me wonder about the contrast of modern day where there is a saturation of the media by artists/idols/celebrities. The public doesn’t seem to be put off by knowing the ‘real’ person in every painful detail. 

      A friend suggested that maybe because adultery doesn’t have as bad a stigma as it once did as well as the fact that pretty much anything goes.  Really, what is considered bad behaviour these days, enough to be deemed repugnant?  However I think it has more to do with a desire for fame itself.  People flock to famous people for their fame, rather than for finding a soulmate, for then they become famous by association. In that way it doesn’t really matter what kind of character the person has nor even why they became famous. All that matters is the degree of their fame. 

      Kpop in that regards stands out from this model seen pretty much in the rest of the world’s entertainment.  It is the last place of ‘celebrity’ where a perfect image is maintained and guarded. Thereby it becomes the last place in the vast world of entertainment/celebrity/idol-dom that you might be able to spy your soulmate.  Wonderful post as always, thanks for sharing.

    • http://twitter.com/sebsobandsky Sabah

      “Either that or a normal person will just take whatever square peg is at hand and valiantly attempt to force it into the empty space with a hammer” Hehe, my favourite line! (And not just because it fits me perfectly.)

      I like the parallels you drew with 1950′s Hollywood. Very apt.  They well knew that mystery and eligibility were the two fundamental traits that an idol should have.  ‘Too much information’ and then reality would break the illusion. However it does make me wonder about the contrast of modern day where there is a saturation of the media by artists/idols/celebrities. The public doesn’t seem to be put off by knowing the ‘real’ person in every painful detail. 

      A friend suggested that maybe because adultery doesn’t have as bad a stigma as it once did as well as the fact that pretty much anything goes.  Really, what is considered bad behaviour these days, enough to be deemed repugnant?  However I think it has more to do with a desire for fame itself.  People flock to famous people for their fame, rather than for finding a soulmate, for then they become famous by association. In that way it doesn’t really matter what kind of character the person has nor even why they became famous. All that matters is the degree of their fame. 

      Kpop in that regards stands out from this model seen pretty much in the rest of the world’s entertainment.  It is the last place of ‘celebrity’ where a perfect image is maintained and guarded. Thereby it becomes the last place in the vast world of entertainment/celebrity/idol-dom that you might be able to spy your soulmate.  Wonderful post as always, thanks for sharing.

    • http://twitter.com/sebsobandsky Sabah

      “Either that or a normal person will just take whatever square peg is at hand and valiantly attempt to force it into the empty space with a hammer” Hehe, my favourite line! (And not just because it fits me perfectly.)

      I like the parallels you drew with 1950′s Hollywood. Very apt.  They well knew that mystery and eligibility were the two fundamental traits that an idol should have.  ‘Too much information’ and then reality would break the illusion. However it does make me wonder about the contrast of modern day where there is a saturation of the media by artists/idols/celebrities. The public doesn’t seem to be put off by knowing the ‘real’ person in every painful detail. 

      A friend suggested that maybe because adultery doesn’t have as bad a stigma as it once did as well as the fact that pretty much anything goes.  Really, what is considered bad behaviour these days, enough to be deemed repugnant?  However I think it has more to do with a desire for fame itself.  People flock to famous people for their fame, rather than for finding a soulmate, for then they become famous by association. In that way it doesn’t really matter what kind of character the person has nor even why they became famous. All that matters is the degree of their fame. 

      Kpop in that regards stands out from this model seen pretty much in the rest of the world’s entertainment.  It is the last place of ‘celebrity’ where a perfect image is maintained and guarded. Thereby it becomes the last place in the vast world of entertainment/celebrity/idol-dom that you might be able to spy your soulmate.  Wonderful post as always, thanks for sharing.

  • Haibara Christie

    Actually, I find it intriguing that there is a huge sect of fandom that would prefer that their idol be in a homosexual relationship with a “bandmate” rather than any other person in the planet. (*cough*..Yunjae..Eunhae…Hunhan..*cough*)  

    “No, Oppa can’t be dating (Insert Female Idol/Other Female), he’s in love with (insert Bandmate)!”

    • Seri Park

      I think that a lot of fan girls would be much more jealous of losing their idol to another female, than to another male, particularly a bandmate…  the latter case which many find hot, as they could fantasize of a threesome… consisting of the two hot idols and themselves, whereas the fantasy would not work well with another female.

      • Haibara Christie

        LOL. 

        It also just occurred to me that cross band homosexual ships are also quite minimal.  I wonder why?

        • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

          Less interaction? Idk, for SM groups cross-band ships are pretty normal. :P

          • Haibara Christie

            Like who? They are few and far between.  I could probably pull out one or two, but that’s about it. 

          • KalisaCat

            Take Kyuline and you will have multi-fandom couples XDD Including Junghyun from CNBlue (who has really intelligent image kkkk).

    • happy_slip

      OMG yes.

      It’s one of the things in KPOP that leaves me baffled to this day. I just don’t get it. It’s not that I’m against same-sex relationships or that I’m disgusted by it, I just don’t understand why it has to come to the point where they’re using this kind of situation just to spare themselves from feeling bad when their favorites do start dating a girl (or a guy, for idol girl group member fans). 

      • Haibara Christie

        Neither am I, it’s just I doubt they would like the significant other (male or female) to be anyone but their bandmate, which is baffling to me.  

  • http://allthatdramanews.blogspot.com/ Eye Candy

    Okay first of all, bahahaha that meme. Anyways, I wonder if this applies equally to all idols. Do idols who are visuals have even more pressure to stay away from the dating scene because well they are used as the attractive front for their band and oppa or unni is not as attractive when he or she is in a relationship. (Because then they will have to break up before we can be together.) I totally identify with what Nabeela said at the end of the article because if it is my ultimate bias I don’t like hearing they are even being choreographed with a female (regardless of how ridiculous that thought is.) I think this really is a problem in Kpop because the poor singers involved cannot date they can only work. Anyways back to my main question, I just wonder if it easier for say a vocal member who is not known for being attractive to date over a visual who is only known for being attractive and winking seductively at cameras. My initial reaction is yes. But maybe its just super hard for all of them.
    On a complete side note I once saw Dara on a variety show where she said that the dating ban had been lowered for her, but maybe that was just a sad hopeful joke. 

    • Kaoru Takeshima

       doesn’t Shindong have a fiance? nobody really seems to care. I always thought it was because he was considered unattractive by idol standards. I can imagine fans going batsh*t insane if someone like say Yoona or Suzy the ‘nations first love’ openly talked about having a significant other.

      • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

        He has a girlfriend. I don’t know if they’re engaged, although I hear he kind of proposed on his album thanks to…

        I honestly haven’t met too many people biased toward Shindong, though… :P

  • animefreakhq

    I don’t understand why fangirls hate the ideal of their biases to be in a relationship. It’s not like they have any chance to date their biases.

  • animefreakhq

    I don’t understand why fangirls hate the ideal of their biases to be in a relationship. It’s not like they have any chance to date their biases.

  • http://twitter.com/babycokes K-popping Dem Pills

    I totally get this.

    For example, I know one girl *coughs and looks the other way* that adores G Dragon. He (or his manufactured image, take your pick) is her perfect man let alone bias and when I found out, oh damn I meant she, found out he was dating I was pretty much depressed.

    While one half of me was like: GD my heart hurts #teardrop, another side to me was more like “GOOD FOR YOU!”. I was literally thinking ‘Hell yeah! Go you, you deserve to find someone who makes you extremely happy. You and Dara/ whoever make such a great and devastingly perfect couple (yes I am a firm believer in Daragon :P)You see, I still realise that after all GD is a human and he does have his own life like the rest of us. He is not a main character in my daydreams but a living, breathing person who has his own relationships and friends.. just like me.

    Some girls and boys do not realise this and it scares the living daylights out of me. They have delved in and eaten to much of the K pop cake that it’s making them sick causing them to blur the line in between reality and this utopia that k pop gives us.

    P.S. I STILL LOVE YOU GD (and ZICO)

    • http://twitter.com/M_Wys Michaela Wylie

      GD is dating? Since when?  O_o

      Get it. ;D

  • cancertwin2

    I’ve been a Cassie for years and I’ve never felt that way.

    Unlike what some people believe, most international Cassies don’t care whether the members date or not. The problem is that they want to have say so in who they date.

    For instance, most people say that the reason Cassies were apart of Black Ocean is because they were jealous of them being close to members of SNSD.

    The reason this doesn’t make since is because just years earlier Junsu was paired with Jang Ri In for Timeless. Korean and Chinese Cassies are known to have helped Ri In garner a lot of accolades because they truly believed that they were dating. Many to this day still support Junsu and Ri in Or Suyin as they are called. They celebrate their anniversaries and write fanfics for them despite not seeing them together.

    So, if Cassies hate the members with girls then why didn’t they bash her? It’s because they felt that she was the perfect match for Junsu and want them to marry in real life.

    There’s also the couples that DBSK had with their female counterparts, The Grace. Why no Black Ocean for them despite rumors that Dana was Yunho’s first girlfriend or his close relationship with Stephanie (which many Cassies still support)? Jaejoong with Lena? Junsu with Sunday? Yoochun with Sunday? Changmin with Dana?

    And please don’t say it’s because The Grace weren’t popular because for a while they did have some popularity.

    Then there’s Boa who has always been the closest to DBSK. Yoochun even admitted that he had a crush on her in 2006. Rumors then began that they were dating. Jaejoong and Boa admitted that they dated but decided to remain friends. Why no Black Ocean for Boa?

    It’s widely known that Yoochun dated former After School member Gahee on and off for two years after his debut. Yet when AS made their debut there was a bit of controversy but no attacks against her group. In fact a lot of Cassies supported AS afterwards.

    My point with all this is that not all fangirls go apeshit crazy when their oppas/unnies date.

    However there are those who want say so in who that date, which I don’t think is fair either.

     But I must admit that I am one of those who would be a bit disappointed if my fave idol dated someone that I didn’t like. But it happens all the time with my Western biases and I get over it.