In an earlier article, I did a piece on jobs related to the K-pop idol industry, and how fans would so willingly take them on. Here again are a few things that would really “improve” K-pop, but at the same time simply do not have a profile high enough to warrant any interest from the typical fan.
Forget all your usual jobs like choreographers and lyricists, here are a few that might not get you all the attention when name dropping, but are certainly priceless to the K-pop loving community.
You all know the awkward spiel. Watching a new MV or live performance, you end up suddenly noticing an upskirt shot. Granted, all you may have just seen was probably a safety pant, but as we all know what’s seen cannot be unseen that easily. And yes we do know such moments really take the joy out of music video watching.
Besides, you would not really like the idea of being accused of being a pervert while just trying to get your fix of K-pop, or be seen as watching a MV just to catch out an odd accidental exposure scene.
This is where the outfit checker comes in. However, instead of checking the outfits before the video shoot as the name implies, this outfit checker checks the music video/recorded content before it is broadcasted or while it is edited, and orders all potentially “offending content” cut out.
While some “fans” might get a kick out of trying to outwit our outfit checker, by trying to find missed scenes to make him look bad, it will be hard. Being on a payroll and having to be serious about things would mean our full-time video watcher would be hard to beat.
With the heavy number of idol groups and idols debuting these days, as well as standards of beauty becoming ever more… uniform, it has become increasingly hard to tell one group member apart from the other in a typical Music Video or performance.
It does not help that with the constant concept changes, what was your brown ponytailed-favourite in one video could look like a red haired monster in another, leading to endless confusion on your part.
Admit it, you must have at some point in time mistook your supposed bias for another person in a music video, mis-identified a member, or even more commonly, went “Who the heck is this?” at a rookie in yet another one of their new songs.
Happily, such happenings should be a thing of the past, with this new app called Idol-pedia. All you have to do is point your mobile phone’s camera at a photo or video of the person you are struggling to identify, and the app’s Multipoint Face Scanning Technology™ will do the rest.
In addition to helping you identify the idol, it would also helpfully notify you if the concept was a recent one or a previous one, and then point you appropriately to current photos (to help keep you updated) or previous ones (if you think your bias looked better previous).
Another side benefit of the app is an added function called My Bias Recommender™, where based on your hair/face shape/figure/personality preferences, the app would recommend you other idols from other groups to look out for.
So with this app, not only would you stay up to date with the latest idol groups, but also not look foolish at mixing up idol group members, and finally have a seemingly endless list of idols to like or support.
Retirement Life Planner:
Yes, yes I know Shinhwa did “tackle” this problem, but theirs only addresses the more superficial concerns of post-celeb life, such as nobody to remember your birthday, or the loss of that feeling that the world cares about you.
Beyond them, there are far more pertinent worries of leaving the entertainment industry beyond a certain age. The need to stay gainfully employed for the remaining 20-30 years of their working life, the need to ensure that the fortunes earned in their idol life get invested such yhat the returns keep coming in, and most importantly to not fall into all the traps that come with suddenly being chucked out of celebrity life.
With the Idol Retirement Life Planner™, idols planning to leave the business or to just diversify their earnings will receive one on one advice and guidance on future plans, ranging from future jobs or educational prospects that would suit them best, to the right businesses to put their name to. In addition to that, there would also be psychological counseling to help them get accustomed to a life without media attention and fame, as well as a primer guide on getting daily tasks done without a manager.
Of course, while this service would be more heavily marketed to the popular celebrities (after all, nobody likes to read a sorry tale of a fall from grace), failed rookies are also free to sign up to help them avoid the fates of dead-end jobs and having to live from paycheck to paycheck.
And for those celebrities who just want to get married, we would tap into our exclusive database of idol fans turned career high flyers, and help link them up. Talk about having your cake and eating it. Said idol fan can now literally make his friends green with envy, while his newfound wife/husband can enjoy a relaxed, high maintenance life equal to that of a nouveau riche socialite.