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Why more idols should tell us who they’re dating

Written by Amy On November 8, 2010

SHINee was recently in Taiwan for overseas promotions and at the various press conferences they attended, there was a strict bar on the types of questions the media could ask. Meaning, they couldn’t ask anything related to Jonghyun‘s relationship with Shin Se-kyung, and could only stick to album promotion-type questions.

Coupled with that were rumors that right after the news broke, SM Entertainment restricted reporters and other media access from SNSD and SHINee when the two groups were participating in the various weekly music programs.

But what prompted my argument was mainly the following. (I’m not sure of the origin of this message, since it might be an English translation of a Chinese translation of a Korean message, or it can just be an English translation of a Chinese message.) Either way, this is what one fan felt compelled to write:

Time and time again, we’ve seen the kind of power that netizens hold over entertainment companies, actors, actresses, singers, emcees. Hell, 98% of the Korean entertainment industry is built on bending over backwards to cater to netizen whims. (Jaebum incident, anyone?)

Sometimes, it’s conducive to producing better material, such as when netizens negatively react to how a drama is doing. A lot of times getting that feedback lets you know what you’re doing wrong. Off the top of my head, I remember that when “Boys Over Flowers” was broadcasting, a lot of people expressed dislike towards the constant use of T-Max’s “Almost Paradise” and thank the mighty gods they complained e-loudly enough for the producers to take notice. Subsequently, that song’s frequent use was modified and they came out with a second soundtrack.

But unfortunately in the interest of our Kpop idols, netizen behavior can be obsessive, demanding, and downright illogical. Of course the message I posted above doesn’t represent all netizen thinking, but from what I’ve observed, a good portion of SHINee/Jonghyun fans are upset that he’s come out with a girlfriend.

Hey, I understand that it can be upsetting to find out that someone you like is dating. Barring all the conspiracy theories, which I think is a topic of another discussion, what’s wrong is when fans expect that idols owe their livelihoods to their fans. It’s great that they’re so loyal and devoted to your idol. What’s not okay is when they come to expect that in exchange for their loyalty, idols are not allowed to engage in behavior that disappoints them.

This may be more prevalent in Asia, where social relationships are formed out of trading loyalties: you stay loyal to me, I stay loyal to you. And I don’t want to come off as that American who speaks of Asian relationships from her purely Western point of view, but this extremely negative reaction from fans is a little unsettling.

And a lot of this comes from the fact that idols keep throwing around catch phrases that encourage this kind of behavior, like when they jokingly tell their fans not to “cheat” on them when they’re away from the country, or how all their fans are like their “girlfriends/boyfriends,” or just in general how they really do a lot to please their fans.

As a result, fans come off feeling like idols owe them something for their fanchants, their signs, their gift baskets, their album purchases.

It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way!

It’s unfortunate that idols are not mostly not allowed to have girlfriends or boyfriends, because while their hectic schedules might be a reason they don’t have time to date, it’s mostly because of what having one might do to their fanbase. Se7en revealed on a variety show after he came back this year that when his relationship with Park Han-byul went public, his fancafe’s numbers decreased by the thousands. That’s crazy talk. Is Se7en supposed to remain single for the entirety of his career lest he wants to see a drastic drop in fans? And if he does have one, is he not allowed to publicly show that he’s happy?

The point is that while it’s great that there’s such a dedicated fanbase for so many groups, fans need to realize that they don’t own their idols just because they buy some of their albums and go attend some of their events, and idols need to stop encouraging that type of behavior. Both sides need to stop bleeding into each other so profusely or else there’s never going to be a happy medium.

And that’s why more idols need to tell us who they’re dating, because by doing so, they stop cultivating an image that makes fans think that they’re completely accessible and people can stop building up these unrealistic expectations of their idols, which is a huge problem to begin with.

Now let Jonghyun date, and come forth all you idols with your own relationships. Jjong says “Payce!”

TAGS: Jonghyun, Shin Se-kyung, SHINee

:D

I totally agree with this article.
Just because you own everything your idols’ products doesn’t mean you get to own your idols as well. .___.

:D

Sadly, idols depend on this sort of obsessive behavior to make fast money and popularity. As an ABC, I find the power netizens have is insane! D:

oh why

agreed.

in the article posted, i think that the girl states a valid point in her reasoning for closing down her sight. although idols bend over backwards for their fans, fans do the same for their idols!! idols would be nothing without their fans and the money the fans spend on them, so in a sense, idols do owe a lot to their fans, and i would say even in the professional appearance they have to keep up of being single when many of them probably aren’t.

the whole system needs a change, not just from the fan’s side but from the idol side as well. maybe the change can come from more idols saying that they are dating, but the entire complex crazy relationship between fans and idols is the foundation of the business. how do you change a whole foundation without destroying the entire structure in and of itself??

i think its more complex then saying idols should just come out about their personal lives…its deeper than that. your asking every single idol fandom to change their entire mentality, lol!

Geoff

The term ‘fan’ stems from the word fanatic, which one dictionary defines as “a person whose enthusiasm or zeal for something is extreme or beyond normal limits.”. These people are basically behaving in an abnormal fashion, often basing their lives around delusions of relationships they have with the idol defined as “an image or other material object representing a deity to which religious worship is addressed.”. So fan(atic)s are basically expressing abnormal behaviour towards a living deity which they worship.

Churchill said “A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.”, and so by stoking up these fanatics with fake information, they are playing a dangerous game. You’re basically getting people on the fringes of society who have low self esteem to think a real relationship exists between them and their idol and feeding them propaganda about fake relationships. This delusion of a relationship manifests itself around possessiveness which you would see in a ‘real’ relationship. This ultimately ends up nowhere good when they find out it’s all based on lies. One of the many reasons why the suicide rate in Korea is so huge.

oh why

i wasn’t saying this behavior was normal, i was just stating to the extent how deep these fan-idol relationships go and why i think they are this way.

i think idols should date, i think they should have normal lives, and i definetly think fangirls need to get over a thing or two.

and of course their behavior is abnormal scary and illogical, and idols are indeed just human, but the article was stating that there needs to be a change and i was just arguing that this is just easier said then done.

SCHI

going to agree with the article and you as well. It’s unfathomable to grasp how possesive this relationship between idols-fans can get and to the same degree the manipulation on both ends that occurs. You can’t “own” a person just because you’be invested in them as a product…they have lives and there is such a thing as reality.

Geoff

Agreed. It’s like soccer-football fan(atic)s talk of a soccer club, when it’s not in any way a club, it’s a profit making company. They talk about ‘their’ team, as if they are more than just consumers to this company. They talk about how ‘they’ won last week, when they had no impact or input on the outcome of the game. The only impact is the amount of money the soccer-company has, in order to buy players, and the fan(atic)s are just customers buying a service, but have used rationalisation to convince themselves into thinking some other barrage of delusions, in order to think they are a part of it.

K-pop is the same, they sell them a cheap romantic story which is basically propaganda, and convince fan(atic)s that by buying their products they will be able to identify with this idol. They are basically selling these lies as a service, and the addicted fanatics convince themselves things like ‘this is great talent’.

This kind of behavior is quite interesting though.

Impy

Nice article but I think it’s pretty naive. It’s not the idols who encourage this behavior it’s the companies who deliberately market the idols this way. Let’s be real, if you take away all that “boyfriend” marketing and all the “He may not sing or dance well but his personality is sooo cuuute” what do you have left? Attractive young people who produce forgettable music. Companies know they won’t sell based on quality or talent that is why they pimp their idols the way they do.

Look at the behavior involved. The fans send idols expensive presents, they buy multiple versions of the same album just for a few different pictures,they mass buy thousands of albums just to increase rankings etc. In exchange the companies keep the idols pure, they perpetuate the sweet/king/gentle/shy image, and they make certain the fans know every move the idol makes and they never let the idol go too long out of the spotlight. These people know their demographics and they know what they are doing thats why they aim for hormonal teenagers, horny middle aged men and lonely housewives. They aren’t selling music they are selling the fantasy because people won’t buy shitty music but they will spend countless dollars to feed their fantasies.

Jessica

^This right here is exactly what I feel… minus the naive part. I think the article had some good points, it was just missing some of the things you pointed out

a3kings

I think thats what the translated article was trying to get at but it was lost in translation. I completely agree. The whole point of the idol industry is not to showcases and sell good talent and music, but to feed the fantasies of the fans. If that fantasy is broken then there is no reason to spend money on it.

Penny

Exactly. While it would be nice to see idols date, they’re selling a person to their fans,=. They are meant to see friendly so that you feel a bond and either want to date them or be their friend. Even JE, while “allowed” to date, are marketed as single while they are still young. It makes sense for management to market them this way to keep up sales and as much as I want that to change, I can’t deny it was a brilliant idea. I’m still in awe of how many fans will believe they own their idol and have a never-ending mission to defend them.
lordy

Hit the nail right on the head!
Idols are the product and marketed just as aggressive and ingeniously as any other company product.
They are literally ‘made’ so that people feel they NEED something we did not even WANT in the first place.
Something we NEED is essential for survival, and once that is taken away from us, we naturally feel like we can not live on.
It is purely a story of marketing and advertising success.
To blame others, especially considering the idol audience, is DEFINITELY naive.

Hm…

But these idols are not just products. They’re people. If you think about it, the image that is marketed and the actual person are two separate things.

It may be that the way the company markets idols makes it hard for fans to see this but at the end of the day, it’s not hard to realize that your idol is HUMAN and that makes this kind of fanatical behavior the fault of the fan and not the idol or the company.

Rick

Correct. But consider being the idol who chooses to live behind this marketing based propaganda façade, you think they’re going to be happy being represented as someone who simply isn’t them? You think this is good for their psychology? Of course it isn’t.

The whole system is messed up, from the fanatics, to the sad fake-stars, to the people counting the cash in the middle.
lordy

Correct, but I would disagree with the ‘realization’ part.
We are talking about 12-16 yos. That is the main audience (as I said above) who would may not recognise that fact.

It would be inexcusable for any other person of an older age to over-react and blame those fans as much as you look.
Look at American teenage stars – Justin Bieber and the Jonas Brothers. Their companies do not restrict them as to their personal lives yet they get similar fan hate responses when rumors start up about their relationships.
Boys will be boys, girls will be girls and kids will be kids.

However, it is entirely different when the company promotes (or caters to fans) this ‘personal’ image and in turn thrives on obsessive fan behaviour.

There is no point blaming the small fish (especially when they are so manipulable).

lordy

oops, “and you are welcome to blame those fans as much as you like”
Geoff (service patch v.2.1)

K-pop entertainment companies have a cynically clear modus operandi:

1. get an insecure person who feels inadequate.
2. offer them the dream of a fake relationship with a k-pop idol.
3. when they’re too weak and deluded to protest, take every single penny they have by selling them useless tat.
4. cast the person asisde, move on and count your money.

Combined with moral nihilism .. and it’s all about the Benjamins for them.

mischa

Brilliant!

I agree with your whole comment.

cs (original)

Overall I agree with this article. On the sane side, most of these fans are beyond ridiculous and need their parents to give them a good slap. However, these “idols” know the score and the culture, and even worse their companies feed the masses. So overall, whilst the fans are scary idiotic, anyone wanting to push themselves in the limelight, need to realise that fame and money may be the upside; but the downside IMO outweighs that.

Look at Justin Beiber and the Jonas Brothers for example, they’d probably shoot anyone who tried to come near their “property” and that’s what these “fans” think though. They believe by buying CDs and merchandise, that they somehow OWN these guys.

I do feel sorry for him, and if he was the token “ugly” guy in the band, no one would care i.e. Shindong. However, he isn’t and whilst I applaud their attempt to NOT lie and be in the open, they are also very naive and should have taken a page out of every other seasoned-idols page, and just kept quiet. Hell, didn’t a certain Mr. YG himself keep his girlfriend a secret, even as a produce /coughs.
mango

is this even worth talking about? i’d trade my grunting, pimpled, pastey-faced fans for shin se kyung too.
pinky

Entertainment comapnies should try marketting “idol love teams” or something like that. Pair them up with someone before or earlier they debut. Maybe start weaning hardcore fans off that possessive mentality. I’m not sure how that would work with idol groups, though…

sweet tea

I thought about this idea too. I’m sure that’s what they are gearing up for. But I think it will be with older idols. they will prob keep the young ones “single” and use the relationships of older idols to turn profits. Just imagine members of SNSD and Super Junior dating openly. it would really open up a whole new gossip industry in Korea.

sierra

i think those pairings already happened. except within the groups themselves lol.

boom

Companies from where I live do that and I’ll tell you, more or less it will produce the same results. It will be as hard for these “pairs” to move on because if they are indeed marketed as love teams…most of their fans wouldn’t want to see them break-up, or have another partner — even just for work. I’ve seen rabid love team fans and man, they do the same thing. Death threats and all.

I think it’s not basically how available the idol seem to be is the real problem here. Or let’s say maybe it is a PART of it, but the biggest thing would have to be the fantasy that normal people actually share something personal with them. I like my idols but do I see myself actually knowing them outside what they’re doing on stage? Most of us really don’t, but in Korea they seem to have that kind of POV, from what I’ve noticed.

nomnomnoodles

*psycho music*
lindsey

This story is getting old, hey some people get insane when they find out that the idol is dating someone else, some people don’t. that is all.
sweet tea

OMG! thank you. If I had to read one more conspiracy theory or kpop secret about this I was going to slap the taste out of someones mouth. Fans need a reality check and I hope every idol comes out openly about their relationships now. It’s time for netizens to grow up and stop living in fantasy land. The members are not together Jongkey is not real and they like hot girls so sad too BAD!

Jessica

I agree that obsessive fans need a reality check, but come on what wrong with a conspiracy theory or two.

Yes they may keep the ultra fans who are in denial about their “idol’s” dating status from realizing the truth, but they are so much fun for everyone else :D

Geoff

‘Obsessive fan’ is a tautology, as all fan(atic)s are obsessive by definition.

sierra

you are a super beast.
sierra

I bow down to your greatness. (ironic comment for this article)
pearllovestop

…But in practice, I doubt that ALL people who call themselves ‘fans’ actually are as fanatical or crazy as the original definition prescribes. I think it’s very realistic to draw a line between ‘normal’ fans and overly obsessed, hardcore fans.
shesblindfolded

Ok Geoff, you can stop pushing your definition of “fan(atic)” now. That definition is not what people understand in casual terms, like pearllovestop said. It is similar to how the interpretation of gay has changed, for lack of a better example. To call yourself or someone else a fan just means that they enjoy whatever the focus is. An “obsessive fan” is acceptable and would meet your definition. Go wiki semantic change.

Katy

i don’t really blame the fans for overreacting..
but if you truely support an idol, you should be showing them your love and care.. and so on~ not.. whatever the hell some people are doing….

i’d want my “idols” to get a life and have fun outside the entertainment industry :)

face it.
they’re all gonna grow up and get married + maybe even kids~ one of these days x)

so yhh~ peace out~~~

Geoff

You cannot blame them for overreacting because by definition fanatics are incapable of rational thought, they are only capable of obsessive thoughts. This is the problem, the entertainment companies are playing fast and loose with manipulating people who are exhibiting genuinely delusional behavior.

http://mixtapesandlinernotesl.blogspot.com mellowyel

I don’t know about any conspiracy theory, but I’m not happy that SM and Shin’s company decided to reveal their relationship at this point in time. They’re young, they’ve only been dating for a month, and this is likely their first adult relationship – I can imagine all the bad press and fan reactions hurt more now than they would maybe in six months to a year, or even seven years like in Seven’s case. It kinda feels like they’re the “sacrificial lamb couple”, because I doubt the fan reactions will be as bad as this with the next couple. Or at least I hope not.

I agree that more idols should date publicly, but a weaning period is necessary. Maybe start with the WGM couples (if any are actually dating) then move on from there? Sadly, even with the WGM couples, I can see a similar thing happening, despite the fact that so many people ship them. And what happens when popular idol couples break up? Fans will get mad because their favorite star has been hurt and/or abandoned. It’ll take a long time for the fan culture to change, IMO – announcing idol couples is only one small part of it.

On another note, the fan in the letter is silly. She spends all her pocket money on these idols, yet the idols themselves get diddly-squat. 90% of her money is going to the company anyway, so she shouldn’t use her spending habits as a reason to stop idols from having a personal life.
Kim

From the business side of entertainment I know what an artist does can affect the bottom line. Successful artists produce jobs for many people, for whom I have had the great pleasure to be employed; sadly there is a great amount of burden that will always land on the artist.

What I would wish for fans of idols or celebrities to know (and experience for at least a week), although someone may have aspiration to be a star, and the lifestyle may appear so glamorous once you are in the business, it is an extremely lonely existents. Many work harder then you will ever know, away from their homes, families and those who truly love them for a long time. We may idolize celebrities, don’t forget they are human beings like everyone, they are not gods. They can’t help who they fall in love with anymore then you and I can.
One of my favorite expressions comes from artist DJ Quik’s song called ” I Don’t want to Party wit You”, I rather have the money, you keep the fame…
Pingback: Revue de presse 8 Novembre 2010 | Diary of a French Fangirl
sierra

Someone is right, on here, the fantasy is what people live for. I think that people need to understand the fans side too. I feel like idols are always getting pitied by the rational fans. Really I’m referring to the female fans here, though, not creepy ajhussis.

Anyways, I think fans tend to overreact because they have drawn themselves into a fantasy and a really scary one at that, that their idols love them back. It’s very likely that each fan believes that they will meet their idol one day and their idol will fall in love with them and notice their gifts, etc etc. That they go to the extremes they do.

I mean I have friends that don’t hate snsd, but get jealous that snsd knows suju you know? And they are some of the most rational fans ever.

What’s frightening is that these fans have fallen in love with their idols (or what they perceive as love) and I don’t know how many times or how many dramas tell you love is possible and to keep fighting and never give up, etc.

I don’t know. Does anyone find this idea particularly frightening? It’s really the companies fault. Instead of making idols a guilty pleasure, they’ve reduced idols to being the center of the universe, the “love” of these fangirls’s lives. These teenage girls who have enough pressure as it is what with being a woman (especially in countries that are modern and still pretty sexist like Asian countries), the pressure of school, the pressure of friends, the competition in this world, the lack of self-esteem, and possibly even more stuff to deal with.

I don’t know I just feel like you’ll always have crazy fans wherever you go, but the number of crazy fans can be greatly reduced if you change something as simple as how tough the education system, or sexist views, or change how idols are marketed (i.e give them better music!!!!, not one great song and a mini-album with the instrumental over and over again in three different versions plus three other crappy songs), possibly even change how the music industry functions so that actual musicians get a share of the market. tap into those other markets of people in the country, diversify the music!

sierra

Sorry this paragraph doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. It’s just a bunch of different ideas I’ve been having, but can’t quite seem to articulate well.
Geoff

Well, the fanatical motivation behind the ‘Creepy ajhussis’ is covetousness and the motivation behind the female fans is envy.

They’re both trying to believe that they are attractive enough to be capable of dating one of these idols, which is actually a facade of plastic surgery and propaganda created by the entertainment industry.

Just as credit card companies use weak minded people to get into debt by getting them to think that excessive consumerism is going to make them happy, the K-pop industry does the same by selling the delusion of a relationship with these idols to people with low self esteem.

It’s called manipulation, and is arguably immoral.

lolo

I totally agree with you, but the thing is, Korea is a pretty small market. The reason why American(Western) artists hold more personal freedom than K-pop idols is purely because they appeal to a bigger market. Almost every country in the world listen to American music, but we all know it’s not the same for K-pop(mainly due to cultural differences).
The whole reason as to how K-pop idols can appeal to international fans is the fact that they are IDOLS. They are not artists. They are popular because they please their fans. People buy their albums because they are a member of that idol’s fan base. The only reason they are popular is because they cater their fans’ unreasonable whims. Without the obsessed fans, unfortunately, K-pop won’t be as big as it is.
Idols know that themselves, that is why they are very thankful to their fans. Yes, from our point of view, it is wrong, but that’s why they are idols and not artists. Many idols are still very popular even if they’re not that talented. Many idols only has their obsessed fans to thank for their status and popularity. As disappointed as I am with the truth, the only reason K-pop is as big as it is today is because of the obsess fans who are willing to dedicate and support their all to their idols. So, unfortunately, I don’t think the current system will receive an overhaul anytime soon.
Lucky;Charms

Lol I totally agree with you.
I don’t care whether he has a girlfriend or not lol
I still love him
idols SHOULD tell people who they’re dating
Keane

The controversial reason one idol keeps his/her affairs secret is in case wild hearted fans may harm themselves for some odd reason if the secret goes public. Take in case Jackie Chan or Andy Lau, where fans have threaten to commit suicide if they marry. Hardcore sh*t! I believe Korean or any other passionate fanbase may get out of control and live a life of obsessing an idol. That is disturbing.
mischa

What I find even more odd is that KPop idols actually have official fanclubs with paid memberships. I mean, seriously? I’ve never heard of other idols/artists in America or anywhere else having their companies set up fan clubs with annual fees for the fans to continue worshipping their idols. I just think it has a bit of extortion and exploitation to it, like these companies set up these fan clubs with their own names, balloon color, etc. as if to say, “If you really want to prove your love to your idols, you better pay an annual fee for it.”

From there these registered fans are obligated to pitch in and contribute financially for gifts for their idols, and they don’t go for some cheap handkerchief or a simple purse either. These fans go out and buy PRADA, Calvin Klein, Burberry, Mac electronics, jewelries, and other expensive gifts for their idols. I’ve seen some pictures of gifts given to DBSK before and they included PCs, game consoles, cellphones, etc. They hire catering teams to cook for their idols/favorite actors in KDramas, as well as give gifts to the whole production staff. IMO it’s INSANITY. So much time, money and efforts spent on people who will never know them personally.

It’s like mutual dependency: idols depend on their fans’ adoration and dedication, and fans depend on their idols’ loyalty and the maintenance of their squeaky clean image of cute girls and sexy boys.

I see the fan’s point in the translated article, in that saving up for an idol’s music even if it meant not eating, shows loyalty and dedication, and as such she also expects the same from Kpop idols, as that was how they are marketed anyways.

But if you look at the pictures of 2PM that were posted by ex-fans due to the Jay scandal, which showed 2PM partying and their arms around random girls, I think they know their idols are not perfect and they have their private lives. But as someone in the comments above said, fans would do anything to continue living in the fantasy world they’ve created for themselves and their idols. So these ex-Hottests chose not to reveal the old photos to protect their idols’ images, and only when s&*^ happened and they turned against 2PM that they exposed the pictures.

Kinda scary if you ask me, to think about how much these “super fans” know about their idols’ personal lives, and how much they may be hiding in the name of loyalty to their idols.

http://evacuatewithstyle.org/blog Amy

no, american artists definitely have fanclubs that require memberships. when i was younger and was into stuff like nsync and bsb i remember recalling that you had to pay membership fees for joining their fanclubs and was like “whut?” and didn’t join. no shame, no shame.
Xenia

Yeah, paid membership fan-clubs are not a new thing. I don’t know about Korean fan-clubs, but here such official members of fan-club can, for example, attend some special closed events, receive limited album/single versions that are not for selling in shops and such. It would be hard to do if membership was free (because of the quantity of fans wanting to participate in such events).

le meera

I think its cuz there’s a difference between relations… in Kpop/Korean entertainment industry, I noticed it’s like celebrities are constantly reaching out to their fans with personal websites, fan meetings – and there is the fact most of the ent. industy is in just ONE city – Seoul – so its very concentrated and easy to have contact with fans.

While in the Western ent. industry, its like celebrities are trying to make themselves like a level above the rest of society, like they’re special. While K. stars try to stay ‘equal’ in the sense with their fans, Western stars distance themselves…. which gives much more ‘loyalty’ to K. Stars but because of such close contact, it’s easy to receive hate too.

Geoff

Well, K-pop ‘Idols’ don’t actually exist, they are just a facade of barely believable truth which people try to identify with under the hope that the fame will rub off on them.

In research it’s called ‘group association’ or ‘group affiliation’, where people are motivated to join groups in order to typically make up for a lack of , among other things, self-esteem. It’s like people in USA usually join gangs, motivated by a need to survive.

http://randomizm.tumblr.com Chiara

Ok everybody made goods points here so I’m just going to say that this “letter” is the biggest amount of bull I’ve ever read in my life… Wish I could unsee it…

hoboinheels

I’m surprised she didnt write in in her blood..or something silly like that…
Anyways this is why I come to Seoulbeats..to read intelligent and coherent comments from non-hyperactive/scary fangirls who understand what K-pop really is..fluff and cotton candy..at least most of the time..not that I hate it because I dont..theres a lot of appeal to the whole fun and pretty looking people..the difference is that i can at least shut my laptop and walk away and if I read that some idol is dating someone, my heart doesnt break into a million pieces..It would be nice if young girls especially could learn how to have fun with k-pop without turning into super-obsessive cyber bullies..oh well lets hope its only a phase..

Jazie

Oh exactly.
He/she is dating so what?
And yes people here in seoulbeats are all so mature lol
that’s why we love this site so much is addict :)))))
Geoff

It’s classical escapism. If one is unable to find or build attachments within one’s own life and they will typically project imaginary relationship and emotional feelings onto things which are unable to hurt them, like these perfect façades of idols. When they have this delusion shattered, they search for answers and go stalking.

They also create non-existent social groupings, in order to claim ‘membership’ to non-existent groups such as ‘antis’ or ‘pros’. The bullying you see is no different to soccer fans who align themselves with football companies (not clubs, as they aren’t clubs).

Hardly surprising that one of them filled up a printer cartridge with their own blood and printed out this ‘celebration of delusion’.

trixie

i’m not impressed with jonghyun.

He seems more of a pussy coz sm is calling the shots.

Just a tip:

if you want to publicly confirm something, make sure you can back it up and can talk about it aftermath.

Jonghyun’s case is weird. They confirmed and yet don’t want to talk. Whats up with that? Now it seemed more like a publicly stunt to me.

Xenia

Not a SHINee fan or anything, but I’m sincerely curious: why should they even want to talk about it? They confirmed that they date. They are not obliged to give any additional details if they want to keep a bit of privacy. I don’t quite understand what do you mean with “backing it up”. “They confirmed and yet don’t want to talk” – exactly, like “yes, we date, and no, it’s not your business”.
maldita

I think it’s actually better that they didn’t let Jonghyun (or Shin Sekyung) talk. There was a total shitstorm going one the first few days, anything they would say could and would have been spun in so many ways. I think it’s good that they’re letting the crazy stuff subside for a while. Let the public accept it on their own terms. Fans already have calmed down and Shawols haven’t reacted as badly as Cassies and ELFs (circa 2005-2007) would have.

Besides, if why should they talk if they don’t want to? Let the two keep something to themselves.

mae

The girl is quite ugly to me, but the fact that Jong looks so happy with her, I am so happy for him! People need to leave the boy alone!
Xenia

I agree. That’s what I always disliked in K-pop, because from my western point of view it’s just ridiculous when fans dictate the “proper” behavior to artists. This and “feed the idol” tradition XDDD
SaCa

Tbh, I think the fangirl has a point. Let’s face it, singers don’t sell songs merely because it sounds good but also because they are selling a certain image. A consumer has the right to choose whether to buy a product or not so who are we to tell her to keep supporting them if they the idol himself is destroying the image.

I’m in no way supporting illogical fan’s behavior like bombarding the poor girl’s homepage or threatening her, but if she decided to quit being a fan because the image she had turned to be false, then she has all the rights to do so.
maldita

I hope with Jonghyun, Shindong, and Se7en going public with their relationships, the obsessive fan culture in Korea cools down in Korea. Yes, fans play a huge role in celebrities’ careers, but they have to accept that there is probably a 1 in a million chance they will ever be with their beloved oppas, and that their oppas WILL find girlfriends and wives in the future. They should at least be happy their oppas are happy. Happy oppas make nice, happy performances for all their fans who support them.
kpopboi

See.. its articles like this that make me genuinely think that Seoulbeats is one of the best Kpop sites to visit.
… until I see some random article that sucks ass. Kudos.. kudos indeed.
lkshoredrive

I think the fangirl has every right to shut down her fan page as much as the idol has every right to date. What I find ironic is that fans were up in arms when the rumors got our that SM employs what’s called “slave contracts” but then this thing happened and lookie look what transpired… pot calling the kettle black anyone? Just sayin’… demanding someone to do or not to do something that is normal, natural and innate is a form of domination. Life is a choice and I think idols should get to choose whether they focus on their career 100% OR work hard to grow their careers AND live life and date like the rest of us at the same time. I don’t disagree that the entire make-up of the idol business encourages this “addiction” between fans and their idols (some companies more than others), but buying into it and to what level of sanity was the fans choice. I don’t think idols should carry the weight and take the responsibility for how far fans chooses to take their adoration and/or obsession.

Geoff

It’s the person’s choice to have their image used as a idol-façade in this fairy-tale cross freakish industry of selling lies to delusional borderline psychotics who live in a fantasy world where they have a ~~fake~~ relationship with the façade of ‘mr right’. They choose to be worshipped by simply getting involved in this.

I struggle to think who the victim is in this curious exchange of money, but it cannot be healthy for the psychological health of anyone concerned in this world of manipulation, except for the people who inevitably end up counting the cash.

sierra

agreed. i mean other idols have said it, you give up certain things when you decide to become an idol. that’s life. everybody in the world makes sacrifices for their jobs. but i do think the idol thing can change, if companies would stop taking advantage of young kids who don’t know anything in the world and would be willing to give up everything to be famous, then maybe this idol thing would change.

Geoff (service patch v.2.1)

Sure, you give up who you really are and agree to take up whatever facade the entertainment company tells you to. Then your real personality is subsumed by the propaganda, and you end up not being yourself, which is psychologically damaging.

This is one reason why Korea has so many suicides.

kc

what I think is creepy is that she talked about using food money for Shinee… dude, eat, I mean they’re just humans, they’re just people who sing, dance and try to bring enjoyment to your life.
I think it’s a bit hypocritical of some fans, they’re aloud to date and marry but if their Idols want this bit of happiness they drop them like a sack of dirt… how can they expect to call them selves fans if they want their Idols to be lonely? I want the people that bring me enjoyment to be happy too! It’s one thing to feel sad that they have an even smaller chance to get their guys, but to totally drop them, to be outraged that they’re happy?
Idols don’t come out because that would be like asking their fans to drop them because obviously these fans don’t understand that Idols are just humans who are talented humans who have the same basic needs as them.
Kenley

I totally agree with this article. And with the other comments about how the entertainment companies encourage this kind of behavior, making the Idols’ image available for the fans.

It will be hard to remove such a mindset from the Kpop fandom, since it is really grounded on the fact that the idols are the fans’ “girlfriend/boyfriend”.

But to let them date openly is another matter, I guess. I mean there is nothing wrong with letting the idols date, but the image of being “available” is always an edge in the show business. Being single usually makes an idol really much more marketable.

If there can be a middle ground for both the idols and the fans on this matter, I hope it comes to that place. The idols and the fans are just humans.
melaboa

WOw, just wow. To you guys saying Idols shouldnt freely date, GROW UP..When these idols turn 40+ and unmarried, pretty effin sure you guys would not want them anymore..So who are you to say they should not be happy and live a normal life??? They appreciate us loving and supporting them on stage and having their back no matter what, But why are you crazy fans turning into these jealous wanna-be-girlfriends? They are not products!! They make products out of their talents! In the end, put the fame aside, they are like us, but a lot busier. Stop being like a 5 year old you can’t get what they want. You are embarrassing me as a big fan of idols. In the end, its their decision, you cannot stop them..
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js

The industry thrives on craycray stans. The whole thing is a set-up. Personally, as a Westerner, I actually like that I don’t know EVERY single detail about these people because, well, I don’t know these people. Honestly, the only thing I don’t like about the Jjong situation is that it’s, imo, WAY too early for them to be public. I was quite happy when I found out SE7EN had a long-term girlfriend because it assured me that he was happy and not hella lonely. However, Jjong and SSK have only been together for a month. If they break up tomorrow, there’d be so much unnecessary drama amongst the public that just wouldn’t be worthwhile because, honestly, I’d just think of her as the girl who did Jjong wrong when they just might not have been compatible as a romantic couple. I don’t think idols should have to wait a year, let alone 7, but they should try to make sure it’s a worthwhile endeavor because, as a non-obsessive fan, I don’t want to be notified of every fling as it’s happening. Basically, I think that KPop should keep up more realistic facades, like perfect people w/ other perfect people in a separate perfect world, instead of the conventional perfect person saving their self just for you one.
js

I agree with everyone that the fanaticism that the industry thrives on needs to be toned down. However, personally, I don’t like the idea of idols publicizing all of their relationships as they happen. That’s really my only beef with the Jjong situation. When SE7EN’s relationship was revealed, I was absolutely ecstatic because I could assume that he had a constant in his life who truly made him happy and vice versa. With Jjong’s one-month relationship, I don’t feel like I should even know at this point. If they broke up tomorrow, there’d be so much unnecessary drama among the public, making the whole exercise not worthwhile. Honestly, when it comes to romantic relationships, the facade is one of the things I like about KPop because I don’t like having to deal with the drama of people I don’t know (i.e. gossip). As a fan, I’d love to know about idols’ relationships, but only either a) after the fact or b)if they’re serious and long-term.
js

Basically, I think the industry should use a more realistic facade model, like perfect people who fall in love with each other in a separate perfect world, instead of the conventional perfect single person who’s saving their self for you so you should too one.
m

I buy their albums and they keep coming out with good albums, I pay for their concerts and they keep putting on good shows. Maybe a few meet and greet and appearances but that is ALL they owe fans for their investment into fandom anything else a “fan” might think an entertainer might owe them is ridiculous and just plain stupid. I also wish the groups would stop encouraging their fans delusional behavior.
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bieber sucks
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