No Asian popstar has successfully crossed over to America yet, and given the globalization of this day and age, nabbing the title of first is more attractive than ever.

Earlier this year, BoA and Se7en boarded a banana boat headed for the land of the free, and like all immigrants who arrive and start anew in this country, they were filled with visions of success.

Fast foward to present day, how far did their fobby Engrish and peace signs get them? Let’s tally up exactly what they’ve managed to accomplish here, and why they’re destined to fail.

Starting with Ms. BoA…
Yes, BoA snagged precious billboard time on the MTV jumbo screen in Times Square. Yes, BoA performed as an opening freakshow act at the annual KISS Jingle Ball concert. Yes, BoA even has some radio playtime in LA for her song “Eat You Up” (even though it’s only like 5 minutes a week). SM Entertainment and BoA fans are quick to label all of this a success, but let’s face facts. BoA’s jumping for joy because she got 5 minutes of radio playtime a week for “Eat You Up”. If Britney Spears got 5 minutes of radio playtime a week for “Circus”, she would slit her wrists.

We’re all kpop fans, and because we live in the kpop bubble, we think that what BoA’s done is groundbreaking and earth-shattering. But if you step out of the kpop bubble for 2 seconds and enter the realm of American pop, you will realize that she’s done absolutely ziltch. So what she got a small interview with MTV Iggy, which by the way, do you even have that channel? If she got an interview with David Letterman or Jay Leno, then we’ll talk.

The only thing BoA’s managed to do here is secure the official support of Asian American fans.
Wait no, Korean American fans.
Wait no, Korean American fans who live on the east/west coast.
Wait no, Korean American fans who live in LA/NY.
Wait no, Korean American fans who live in LA/NY who already knew her.
Way to tap into the American population.

BoA’s going to eat America up? Please. It’s more like America’s going to chew BoA up and spit her back to Korea/Japan.

Things look even more bleak for Mr. Se7en…
Day by day, that boy is turning into a bigger joke than he was already before. I think Rain’s back home in Korea pissing in his pants from laughter. Se7en, the formerly respected Korean popstar, has regressed into a Verizon Wireless employee. And not even a spokesperson! Catherine Zeta Jones was a spokesperson for T-Mobile and was paid millions to have her face plastered all over the mobile phone company. But Se7en? He rents out random Verizon Wireless stores on the west coast for fansignings. See the difference?

Se7en and YG Entertainment have unwisely chosen the American hip-hop community as their target niche. As such, Se7en’s putting out songs like “Girls” and going on BET’s “106&Park”, but let’s keep it real (as they say in hip-hop). Se7en’s chances of wooing the BET crowd is more embarrassing than BoA’s “yum yum” lyrics.

The American music scene is very different from the Asian music scene. You don’t get away with as much. For the most part, America’s no longer into meaningless pop. For instance, Jonas Brothers excluded, teenybopper boybands and girlgroups cease to exist. Even the Spice Girls reunion was barely able to keep afloat. Plus, America already has well-established popstars such as Beyonce, Britney Spears, Rhianna, Taylor Swift, and even freaking Miley Cyrus. Dude, Miley Cyrus’s lyrics are more deep BoA’s lyrics. Folks, it hurts me to say this, but BoA just got pwned by Miley. Same with Se7en. Who’s going to listen to crap repetitive lyrics about google-ing Se7en when they can easily switch to Justin Timberlake, Chris Brown, and Ne-Yo? There’s no need for a wannabe Asian Britney Spears or a wannabe Asian Usher when America already has the real thing.

To combat this, BoA and Se7en resort to cheap tactics of recruiting famous American rappers such as Flo’ Rida and Lil’ Kim to be featured on their songs. They ignorantly believe that riding the coattails of a famous American celebrity (which, let’s face it, Flo’ Rida and Lil’ Kim are second-rate) is the key in which they can become famous too. Frankly, it’s insulting. It’s insulting to assume that the American audience is THAT stupid.

SM and YG Entertainment are lying to themselves if they actually believe that BoA and Se7en are doing well in America. Back in Asia, BoA and Se7en were top dogs. But here in America, they’re barely mutts at a pound.


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